Domesticity and other rewarding activities (The endorphin post)

Hey all,
I hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since my last post, but since I never really promised timely or regular updates I don't particularly feel bad about that. For those of you have managed to still read "that blog thing that Dennis/DJ is writing" consider this a somewhat delayed reward.

As both an update and start to this particular post, my father using the wonder diet of "having kidney stones" and "legitimate healthy eating" has lost a significant amount of weight. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 25-30 lbs. I am particularly proud of him and hope he keeps it up. Those of you who read this and know my father, please feel free to send him copious amounts of congratulations (because he will not hate that at all). Anyways, while my father was telling me about his accomplishment, he was discussing the various reasons why such a change had occured. The largest thing he attributed his success to was the idea that he was keeping happy by eating small meals and doing small exercises and enjoyable activities to keep his endorphins at a steady level.

Now I hate science as much as the next person, but let's go into more depth about this theory. According to most godless scientists, humanity is essentially a pack of drug addicts. No, seriously. We crave endorphins. Just like rats. For those of you who did not take the time to read that link (all of you) the paper explains how if you give two rats a switch to press one which will release food and one which will shock its brain and release endorphins, the rat will starve to death pressing the second button.

Now most humans will not do such a thing (maybe my buddy Tommy). However, the science between endorphin management and good health is very linked. On the opposite side, those who experience massive endorphin swings are more commonly known as Bipolar, and those with low sensitivity to endorphins or have trouble producing them are often diagnosed as depressed. (you just got learned)

The goal aparently is to moderate our endorphins, eating small good meals, doing small enjoyable activities, and enjoying "the little things". We all celebrate our big achievements, but we need to cherish the small ones too.

"Congradulations Susan, we all know you had a baby yesterday. But today Todd wore a funny hat."

With that in mind, I wanted to list a few small things that I enjoy doing. Accomplishments which hit the endorphins but don't require me to get a diploma to make me feel good about myself.

"Master's Degree: $50,000. The feeling of making it: Pricele- wait a minute 50 grand!?"

1. Domestic tasks

I'm not going to lie. Cleaning can be a zen like experience. Not all cleaning, and not all the time, however turning a room, an apartment, or a desk from disaster to neatness really helps brighten a day. Things don't seem so impossible. Organization allows you to break up your tasks into smaller more managable tasks. These task in turn are minature endorphin boosters. Each one easy to accomplish, each a small victory against the unbearable weight of the world. I make jokes about wanting to be a trophy husband, but part of me thinks, hey, folding laundry feels pretty damn good.

2. Putting Stuff Together

I recently put two IKEA cabinets together. I cannot stress how much I felt like a man while doing them. I am convinced that IKEA is LEGOs for adults. Think about it... 4 letter name (all capitals too...), strange European creators, neither instructions requiring any experience with language, and no outside tools required. Anyways, the chest was difficult enough to capture my intention, but did not want me make to burn down Sweden. When I was finished, I had a product I could use and think "I made that". All for the low price of cheap Swedish furniture. The Lesson: IKEA rocks.

3. Winning/Competition

Some of you who spend time with me may have noticed that I have a small tendency to excell at certain things like card games, trivia, and other small games. I enjoy them and I'm slightly ashamed to admit, while some of the enjoyment comes from knowing trivia or being skilled at cards, most of it comes from using those skills to win. Playing and winning games are a great way to fire off endorphins. And since yours truely was not built for street ball, sit down games have largely become my domain to exercise this energy.

"I could of gone pro, but I blew out my knee."

In many ways, nothing beats a good win, you feel accomplished, successful, and why shouldn't you? Games and sports provide a venue for you to compete without the potential real life pitfalls of failure. You lose? then play again. Heck, even losing feels good if you competed with a good friend or the game was intense.

4. Writing

I enjoy writing. Sometimes it takes time for me to get my hands to start typing, but when I am finished, I have been able to express my opinion and have something permanent to leave behind. Hopefully someone reads it, but if they don't, at least I got it out of my head. This leaves me the ability to get onto my next thoughts, which are almost assuredly more neurotic than the last.

5. Coffee and Conversation

Kind of a two for one, sitting down with a friend or colleague, having some coffee, and catching up is a great way to feel good. Chemically I'm sure caffeine does something for me, after all, it is an addictive substance. Sitting down with an old friend is a great way to hear about others lives, lend a helping hend (or at least ear), and live vicariously. You see another perspective and in turn, you get perspective on your own life. I notice that when people sit down for coffee, they smile and laugh more than any other time I know. You don't get a lot of that playfulness as an adult anymore and I wholeheartedly encourage you work as hard as you can to grab those moments.

6. Teaching

Glaring statement of the obvious right? Well, when you think about it all the prerequisites are there. A feeling of accomplishment, conveying information, leaving something permanently behind; no wonder I love to teach, tutor, and volunteer. Hell, sometimes they even pay me for it! I think thats really one of the keys to life, find that thing that boosts you and do it. It has been said by others before, but it is worth retweeting. I MEAN REPEATING DAMN YOU INTERNET!

As a final note, an old friend recently recommended that I throw in a movie review more often to spice up the blog. Seeing as my readership encompasses all of 30 people, I have no problem being incredible responsive to my audience. Without further ado:

Obviously an acquired taste. I recently watched Bloodsport when I actually mailed a DVD into Netflix and got a new one back. It had been so long that I had forgotten what was on my queue (aparently, the year 1986). When you remove the cheesiness, Bloodsport is a solid 80's action flick. John Claude Van Damme does for kicking and splits what Chuck Norris did for chins and punching. The plot is based on a true story (although I don't know how true that can possibly be) and involves secret karate tournaments, multiple 80's power ballads, an American clearly from Belgium, and a young Forrest Whittaker. If you are looking for classic 80's action, Bloodsport is definitely for you.

Keep your eye on the blog, because my next post will take a look into some of the pitfalls that come with chasing these same endorphins.

How do you get your endorphin fix?

The $100 Pledge (The Charity Post)

Hey all!

I hope everyone is doing well. For those of you in the Northeast, I hope the weather is startng to turn for you. For those of you not in the Northeast, well let's just say that you and I need to have a talk about how you haven't came over to help shovel.

In November, gearing up for the Christmas season, I tried a new approach to charitable giving and I thought I would share it with you all. Now charity is often a tough subject for us to broach in common conversation. After all, you don't want to be "that guy".

Bono always wants you to give MORE

After all, it is probably the place of a select few to encourage charity or judge the qualities of giving (not Bono). I'm thinking your local priest, your parents, and maybe the Edge. I think most of us know we should be more charitable, it is kind of like telling us we should eat healthier, get more sleep, or stop stealing candy from children. When talking about charity we need to court the fine line of good ideas vs. browbeating criticism/self-serving gloating. What I want to talk about today is NOT an indictment upon our American excess or some passive aggressive way to get you to give, or some roundabout way of saying how great a human being I am (in order to prove this, I am going to fully admit that I have not shaved in 3 days and have no intention of going to church this Sunday). Rather, this is just an idea I used that turned out to be a great personal success; that other people might like to use for their own benefit.

The $100 pledge:

For the most part, the $100 pledge was created for one of the most humane and honest reasons humanity can afford: the mitigation of guilt. I was purchasing a book one day at Barnes & Noble, and while purchasing, I was asked if I would like to give $1 to a book buying charity. Now, this caused me to mentally jump into a moral quandry about the validity of said charitable act. Was this charity better than other charities? What percentage of the money actually got to the people in need? Was it really fair to blind side people with what was essentially and finacial ambush?

Now all of these thoughts really do deserve some sort of attention and are in many ways legitimate concerns. However, I did not really have time to contemplate them. After all, the young lady at the register (presumably with a BA and MA in Art History) had far more important things to do than wait for me to come to some sort of rationalization of whether or not I should donate such a trivial amount to charity. So instead I made a gut reaction.

"No thank you."

That decision would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Ok, well maybe not the rest of my life, but certainly for a little while. It sometimes amazes me how guilt can creep into your mind. The refusal of a $1 donation had got me thinking about all these things, kept me awake at night, and frankly haunted me to a degree that really was out of proportion with the sum itself.

A few days later, I was buying groceries with Dani, when once again the same situation arose, this time with donation to a food bank. Perhaps it was the fact that someone else was watching, but this time instead of a knee jerk "no", I responded with a knee jerk "yes".

Suddenly I was filled with a massive level of joy and I felt like I was flying with angels!
Or not...

To tell you the truth, I didn't really feel all that different. I questioned my donation, wondered about it ethically, economically, and such. However, what I didn't feel was guilty. I had in essence, bought off my conscience. This in turn, brought its own moral issues. After all, charity I am assuming, should not be about the mitigation of internal feelings of guilt. So now I was left with a bit of a quandry. Unless I didn't want to buy books or groceries ever again, I was going to have to figure out a way to deal with these repetitive small charitable requests which for some reason, were wreaking havok with my brain.

I don't know where it came from, but I decided that from now on, I would just say yes.

I was too young for the D.A.R.E. program, so I missed the message.

I set aside $100 and everytime I am asked for a small donation TO ANYTHING, I say yes. When that $100 is up, I decided I would assess myself and reflect on whether to continue with the practice (I didn't want to bankrupt myself). I would always opt for the smallest amount and always say yes regardless of what the charity was or what form it came in, be it cash, tacked on to a credit card, or some sort of pledge. It helps to keep some singles on you at all times.

Make it rain... for charity

As of right now, it has been about three months and I'm still nowhere near done with the money I set aside. The pledge allows me to avoid the moral arguments about what charity is more deserving, and really just smoothes out a socially awkward part of life. I have yet to have any problems with it thus far (although I am a bit worried about if some sort of White supremacist or pro-puppy killing charity knocks on my door - I'd probably have to draw the line) and have really felt generally good about my giving (keeping well in mind that multitasking my charitable donations as a way to avoid awkwardness has some moral ambiguity to it as well). The $100 pledge has really served as an idea I like, and given the idea that this blog is created for the purpose of talking about ideas I like, I figured writing about it and spreading it can't be that bad either.


In the end, charity is about... well, I don't really know. Sometimes it's a religious tenet, sometimes it's self-serving, sometimes it is seasonal, sometimes we just do it. The meanings and complexities of giving are something for the philosophers, not the 24 year old blogger. What I do know is that I don't know anyone who says charity is a bad thing. And I know if feels good to do it. And between those two things, I figure it has got to be a pretty swell idea.

Do you have any interesting ways you like to donate?